The final show live at The Rochester. Thanks to everyone who came along, and to everyone who has ever listened, or randomly shouted one of our references at us in public. 

A very big Boom Boom Pow to all of you. 

 

After 12 years, 200 episodes, and 1863 anecdotes about kids Declan grew up with in Bulleen, it's time for us to finish the podcast and head back to the family farm for good. Thanks to everyone who listened along the way. 

But we're going to do one last final gig at the Rochester Hotel, Saturday 27 August, at 730pm. So come along and help up go out with a Boom, Boom, Pow. This one probably will sell out, so if you can book tickets now at this link.

We'll leave the podcast up for about a month so you can download any old episodes. 

A Boom Boom Pow. 

Love Dec and Nick 

For the second part of our 200th celebration we are joined by the great man, Steven "Greaser" Gates, just doing some of his very best work. 

Donate 

Against all the odds, we have somehow stumbled to 200 episodes. 

Proudly bought to you by our new sponsors...

Great Ocean Road Kebab Cocktails

Mortgage Joint - Sharpen your mortgage by .01% today. 

 

Donate a Christmas Bonus 

 

Dec has a run in at the Mac shop, Nick deep dives down the trade radio rabbit hole, and we launch a new segment, “Dad’s Doubling Down”. Tell us about the time your dad doubled down on a dumb decision, and win a free car tyre filled with burning hot melted cheese, delivered directly to your door. 

Troll us at the following places... 

Twitter 

Facebook 

Instagram 

Or Donate and Nick will put you in his prayers. 

Discussed:

Dec's dubious career advice from Sean Hughes, the melancholy of the modern milkbar, the existential terror of tattslotto shops and why Nick is done with the Man in the Mirror. 

Donate and support our output of up to 3 whole episodes a year. 

Troll us on social media:

Facebook 

Twitter

Instagram 

 

After a long stint at the family farm, we're back to discuss pretty much the same stuff we always discussed: Richard Roxburgh, Tony Martin, Gary Sweet, Cameron Ling, Cameron Ling's Mother, Simon Black, Slash, and some guy that Dec's dad clipped on the way into the MCG in 1999. Plus those annoying people who try to sound like they're way busier than they actually are. 

Huge apologies it took so long to get another one out. Thanks for hanging in there. 

 

 

DISCUSSED: Shane Warne, Sam Newman, Joe Hachem, Andrew Demetriou, Julian Assange, and one of the great Poker Tournmanent Operators, Fat Crumpet.

ALTERNATIVE TITLES: The Chinwaggers, Nick and the Fatman, The Smooth Operators, Sam and the Fat Crumpet (Live from Jupiter's Casino on the Gold Coast)

Buy our greatest hits album, The Plummest 

Donate

 

 

Discussed: Lauryn Hill, Dustin Diamond, Smellovision, the new little Irish guy on Studio Ten, Craigie, Lou Richards, Shane Bourne, and Rest in Peace the blue m&m

Alternate titles: After Winter Must Come Spring, The Great Winery in the Sky, A Love Letter to Melbourne, Always Bet on Blue. 

Proudly bought to you by our new unofficial sponsor, Louie The Lip 2012 Chardonnay. 

Buy our Greatest Hits Album, The Plummest 

Donate

Discussed: Old Men with Metal Detectors, Gary Ayres' Calf Muscles, Irish Grandmothers who bury money and Nick really struggles with the whole concept of "I'm a Celebrity"

Proudly bought to you by our new sponsor "Oyster McDildo". For an unforgettable seafood experience get down to Oyster McDildo's and tell them Nick and Dec sent you. 

Thanks to the great man, John Flanagan, for just doing some of his very best country music work. Check him out here. 

Grab our Greatest Hits album, The Plummest, here. 

Or just reach deep down in the pockets of your cargo shorts and donate a few dollars to the show here. 

 

Our first time in the same room since #dictatordan took away our basic human rights.

Discussed: Simon Black, Cash Converters, Big Star, Ab Crunches, the Search for the greatest out suburban nightclub continues and How yellow is too yellow for a chardonnay?

Buy our greatest hits album, The Plummest. 

Or donate some loose change (or a hundred dollar note on a fishing line) 

 

Other possible titles: A Day in the Chair, Voyage to the Deep Suburbs, The Cash Converters Incident, and The Wild Turkey Special. 

Proudly bought to you by two new sponsors: Chuckamungas Bar and Grill Greensborough and South East Asian Hammer Pants PTY LTD.

Hopefully our greatest hits album will be by early next week. 

In the meantime... 

Donate to the Sweetest Plum and get a Plum stubby holder 

Follow on Facebook 

Ogle us on Instagram 

Troll us on Twitter 

 

 

Discussed:

Chairman Dan, Daniel Riccardo's Eyeball Camera, Dec's very dubious ARIA nomination and Van Morrison's even more dubious musical protest against Lockdowns. Also, Nick gives us his 2020 Trade Radio review featuring, Matt Rendell, Brendon Goddard, Stephen "Philosophical Sos" Silvagni, Damian Barrett and Kane Cornes.

Donate  (and we'll send you a stubby holder) 

Or troll us on social media...

Twitter  

Facebook 

Instagram 

 

Nick calls for an emergency podcast to vent his rage at Dyson bagless Vacuum cleaners. Dec meets some lovable locals at a Diggers Rest petrol station. And Eddie McGuire celebrates his honourary citizenship of Queensland with his 19 year old son at classy Gold Coast nightclub the Pink Flamingo.

Donate for a free stubby holder

Or troll us on social media...

Facebook  

Twitter 

Instagram 

 

 

End times are upon us and The rapture is imminent (according to gary Ablett, so we get to the bottom of What's really going on and who's behind it. Plus Pat Cash, Henri Leconte, Daniel Andrews and an anecdote Dec has surely already told before

Proudly brought to you by the "Old Age Pensioner Franking Credits Bonus Bet" on your TAB app. (*Only available on select greyhound races)

Donate and get a stubby holder

Follow on Facebook 

Instagram 

 

Declan's Grandma's strict dinner rules, Leigh Matthews' comedy career, Bec Judd's new career in aged care, and Con the Fruiterer's foray into fine wine. 

Bought to you by our new sponsor Bec Judd's Forever Home for old people.  

Donate and get a stubby holder

Follow on Facebook 

Instagram 

 

 

Possible other titles:

The Power of Being Present, The Etymology of Railroading, The Raw Power of the Jet Ski, Coming Face to Face with God and Hmmmm?

Discussed

Pat Cash, Shane Warne, Leigh Matthews, and Dennis Hopper. 

Follow on Facebook

Troll us on Twitter

Instagram (For erotic photos of NBL basketballers in the 1990s) 

Donate (and get a free Plum stubby Holder)

A short podcast recorded just before stage 4 restrictions in Melbourne. Why the AFL grand final should be played in International Waters, why Nick is better than everyone else, and why your seafood goo should always be toasted.  

Thanks to our new sponsors...

"Chicken, Seafood, and Dumpster" - Free document disposal with every quarter chicken and chips.  

"The Funny Bastard Hotel" still operating 7 days a week during stage four restrictions. No face mask required. 

Follow us on Facebook

Twitter 

Instagram 

Donate and get a free Big Boy Stubby Holder.

A two deleted episodes, we finally managed to record a whole episode. 

Other Possible titles: Ghost in the Machine, A Full Interactive Multimedia Experience, A cap based Monologue, Release the Cute Little Piggy. 

Facebook 

Twitter 

Instagram 

Donate 

 

It's too painful to write down. Have a listen and hear two broken men try to explain/excuse/console themselves. With a bonus comedy sketch from deep in the previous employer archives because we felt bad.  

Dec's Osteopath to the Stars, The Return of Trade Wins Radio, and we ask the big question, should you roll it forward? And somehow we make it through a whole episode without once mentioning Joe Hildebrand. #livephoner #rollitforward 

Donate and get a big boy stubby holder

Facebook 

Instagram 

Twitter

 

Other Possible Titles: 

A Shane Jacobson Sidebar, Shane Jacobson's Contractually Obligated Caravan, Have your A**e Cake and eat it, On the front lines and loving it, The Greatest Hits of Harry Laconic Jnr and Zoom Zoom Zoom Let's go back to my room.  

Starring: 

Joe Hildebrand, Shane Jacobson, An Unnamed Former TV Star, Scrooge, Harry Connick Jnr and Craigie. 

Donate to stop the brand going dark

Follow Us for #constantcontent

Instagram 

Twitter 

Facebook 

 

 

Welcome to the quarantine lockdown iso-f##kfest!

In this episode we'll find out Why Chris and Bec Judd keep locking their tradies in Optus Oval, Why Declan struggles to do dinner at the table, and what happens to Nick's brain after watching way too many hours of Joe Hildebrand on Studio Ten.

Donate to keep the brand shining bright

Facebook 

Twitter  

Instagram 

 

Our first podcast since the ten year anniversary, recorded live from isolation. We record in two different houses and don't totally stuff it up. 

Cultural references: Jimmy Page, Bec Judd, Pro Hart, Campbell's Cash and Carry, Delilah, Paul Kelly (not the good one). 

Facebook 

Instagram 

Twitter 

Donate 

Live from the Rochester Hotel, it's our ten year anniversary show, recorded just before everyone went into lockdown. Features poetic tributes, all year round trade radio, Nick's TV pitches, and a conclusion to the Scott Fisher Arc. 

Thanks to everyone who has listened over the last ten years. 

A Boom Boom Pow

Facebook

Twitter 

Instagram 

Donate 

 

 

Other possible titles for this episode: 

Airborne Chilean Beans, Sucking on the Bus Stop Hole, Fisto in the Shoulder, Ready or Not, Aromatic Advertising, The Miseducation of Declan's Osteopath.      

Outdated references: He-Man, Moss-Man, Fisto, The Fugees, Alcopops, Margaret Court. 

Plus we talk a lot about what might happen for ten year gig/Episode 180/Friday the 13th March. Grab tickets here. 

 

In another brand new podcast rebrand, Nick shows you why he's smart, and why he knows business. 

Also... 

Buy tickets to our ten year anniversary gig on Friday March 13 at the Rochester Hotel.

 

As voted by our audience, our brand new podcast, "Flummoxed By Joy" 

Outdated references: 

Shane Jacobsen, Scott Fisher, Bruce Bolden, Baker Street, Man O Man, Jason Dunstall, Blue Murder, Richard Roxburgh, Tony Martin, Pat Cash. 

Facebook 

Twitter 

Instagram 

Donate 

 

 

Discussed:

Maurie Fields, Shane Bourne, The Great Aussie Joke, Chris Anstey, A Shirtless Scotty Fisher, Michael Jordan, Robot Vacuums, James Packer, Declan's Drunk Irish Relatives. 

And Vote Now for your favourite new Sweetest Plum Podcast:

Why do they say that? You idiom; Flummoxed by Joy; The Lark and The Laugh; I'm Smart, I know Business; Packers to the Rafters; Have a Crackronym; Too Much Joy, Too early. Or feel free to invent your own one that we've forgotten.

Vote on social media with #plumpodcastempire

Facebook

Twitter

Or follow us on Instagram for moderately offensive photoshops of Nick's head on nude statues.

 

Alternate titles:

Nick throws himself under the bus, Nick's guide to Melbourne Laneway culture, Space Demons, How to meet girls by firing out lies, One foot on the Urinal cake, The Laneway Blasting Game.

Bought to you by the brand new app: FuckMyRestaurant.

Follow on facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Send us a Christmas Bonus

 

A short podcast due to illness. Another longer, less diseased episode out before Christmas.

Discussed: The Fine Art of Sculpture, Michelangelo, Dodgy Massage Establishments, Western Sydney Wanderers, A-League.

Follow Us on Facebook

Instagram

Twitter

 

Discussed/Debated/Debased this week...

Trade Radio, Nick Dal Santo, Sam McClure, The Oval Office,  murderers, the Tradies on the building site next to Nick's new house, Pier Fishermen, and Nick's Fanfare for the Common man. 

Donate and have Nick add you into his prayers

Follow on Facebook

Instagram

Twitter

 

DRAFT TITLES:

Back in Bow River, The Content Cheater, Top and Tail, New Years Eve 1997, Rock the Rotunda, The Uprising, Scott Cam: An Elite Everyman 

IMPLICATED IN THIS EPISODE:

Scott Cam, The Block, Cold Chisel, Jimmy Barnes, Tim Burton, Some vain bloke Dec went to uni with, Pier Fishermen, The Henderson Kids.

Donate to become part of the wider community (and join the uprising)

Harass us on Facebook - Instagram - Twitter

Dedicated to all our friends from Under Tens Cricket.

Discussed: Declan's very advanced child, Nick's Embouchure technique, The poetry Phillip Larkin and Why Nick never allowed The Wiggles in his house.  

If you want Nick keep you in his prayers, Donate Here and join the wider community

Send all your correspondence, user generated content and pictures of Giant Nutella Containers to... 

Facebook

Instagram

Twitter

Other Possible Titles: 

Twisting the Knife, Grab the Parmagiana by the Tail, The Vasectomy Obsession, Nicotine Dreams. 

References: 

Vince Colosimo, Rutger Hauer, Dr Snip, Paul Barry, Paul Eddington

Bought to you by our inaugural sponsor Young Henrys. (For once an actual sponsor, not one we just made up) Best correspondence/user generated content on the next episode wins a slab of Young Henrys.) 

Follow us on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter

Or Donate and we'll send you a bunch of stickers and say nice stuff about you on the next episode. 

 

Other possible titles: 

Tipping into Irrelevance, On the edge of the youth zeitgeist, Pumping It up and Mucking Around, The Puppet and the Master, Rated X and It Takes a Village to Raise a Podcast

Outdated references in this episode:

Pearl Jam, Tony Martin and Alex Dimitriades in Wildside, Geppetto, Corey Worthington (Bernardi), The Comedy Company. 

Links  

Donate (To become a part of the wider community)

Facebook (To join the conversation)

Instagram (To see a raft of images which are tenuously connected to the podcast)

Twitter (To abuse, troll, and send death threats to us)

 

Other possible titles for the episode: 

Just a Boat Ride, Deliverance Style, Blue Light Disco, The Meaning of DNA, You Don't Complete Me, Car Boot Party. 

Topics discussed: 

George Clooney, Richard Kind, Jerry Maguire, 24 hour Pancake parlour, Ethnic Dad Comma Johnny, Damian Cupido, Burt Reynolds.  

Donate to get our bonus online content easter egg and stickers 

Like us on Facebook to be bombarded by random plum references 

After a few months off we come back with some big questions: 

Is it okay to rat out your soft mates? Is barracking a form of sexual release? How many times can we discuss "Ethnic Dad, Johnny"? What kind of pranks are George Clooney and Matt Damon actually playing on set? Is Nick a George Clooney apologist? 

And please send through your 50 word blurb to describe Nick Maxwell (must contain at least one mention of the word dark). Best blurb wins a "Sweetest Plum Rocks Cumbah Grammar" Sticker.

Plum Facebook 

Twitter 

Instagram

Live from the European Bier Cafe, both of us are unwell, and Steven Gates is extremely hungover, but highlights include Nick's very topical Mary Poppins gangland musical, based on events from 10-15 years ago and his campfire performance of Dave Brubeck's Take Five. 

Send all correspondence/abusive messages via these platforms...

Plum facebook 

Plum Instagram 

Plum Twitter

Get Sweetest Plum rocks stickers

 

A gratuitous promotion for our live gig, Sunday, 31 March, 430 Pm, European Bier Cafe. Plus five tips for getting the most out of your Vanuatu holiday!

With thanks to our brand new sponsor, Penthrox. 

Get tickets here.  

 

Nick loves Italian Food, Italian restaurants love Nutella, Nick does not love school reunions, but he loves Jammin'. And everyone loves a pie and sauce. 

Grab tickets to our live gig here

And grab our new stickers here 

Or just lurk on our instagram page here 

Rejected Episode Titles: 

Third Time’s a Charm, Dedicated to the Boys in Blue, A Shit Ton of Pies, An Underwhelming Existential Nightmare, The Return of Pud and Mudguts and I Can’t Believe I Said That!!!?!

Implicated in this episode: Copperplate Pencils, The Face Magazine, a kid called Heath, Midnight Oil, Dave Brubeck, Slipknot, Karl Stefanovic, Craig Hutchison, SEN, Kimbo and the Rooch. 

Like on facebook 

Or abuse us on twitter 

Ennui: (noun) A feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.

Things contributing to the Ennui: Kane Cornes, AFL Trade Radio, Nick Giannopoulos, Real Estate Agents, Life Insurance Agents, Karl Stefanovic and the Yarbrough Family (otherwise known as the "Yarbies"). 

 

It's the cocktail hour, so kick back with a series of liquids and slip an old CD of smooth jazz covers (or in Dec's case Prodigy remixes) into the five stacker. Plus, Nick's full review of Trade Radio's fashion choices, including Damian Barrett's Designer T-Shirts, and Kane Cornes' Hannibal Lecter mask. 

What we do is really a form of spoken jazz. 

Discussed/Defamed: Ben Elton, Doug Mulray, Ron Casey, Craig Foster, Fat Chef, Nick Giannopoulos, couples who ride motorbikes together. 

Implicated in this episode: Channel Ten's Pilot Season, Sam Dastyari, Declan's high school music teacher, the music teachers wife, a kid called Ralphy who played the saxophone in year ten, Blackheart and Sparrows, Radio Hosts who can't stop talking about how much they love their bosses. 

Implicated in this episode: Wayne Rooney, Robert DiPierdomenico, Craig Foster, Mark Bosnich, Happy Henry and some guy who stared at nick on the tram. Today's episode proudly sponsored by Dr Robert Hand, who's offering all Sweetest Plum listeners a free stomach pump.  

The brand rises once again, so let's celebrate with a slab of Crownies and a bottle of absinthe. 

It's the Last Minute Live Show from the Melbourne Comedy Festival, with Nick, Dec and the Vasect. So grab a finger bowl and fill your glass of Savvy B right up to the line. 

Implicated in this episode: Window Washers, John Farnham, Sadie the Cleaning Lady, Ben Fordham, Stu Laundy, Frankie J. Holden (or Frank Holden to his colleagues). 

 

Proudly Bought to you by Nick, Dec and The Vasect. 

Things discussed/defamed: 

Food trucks, people who drink in parks, Ronaldhino, Apple Store employees, Declan's childhood GP, our previous employer, people who think they add humour to their workplace, heavy metal drummers, anyone who loves talking about how they work in telly. 

 

Rejected titles for this episode: 

Judgement Night, Don't Spare The Horses, God's Joke on Us, A F*cking Very Big Salary, Three Blokes and a Dog, Rattle and Plum, The Very Model of a Million Dollar Publican. 

Individuals Implicated: Stu Laundy, Sophie Monk, Evil Greg, Dangerous Steve, Our previous employer, Stanley Kubrick, Bono, Edge, U2 and Farinelli. 

In a wild manoeuvre that would horrify our previous employer, we've managed to combine two big spike shows, our Christmas Special and our 150th episode, into one giant double spike. And to top it off, we've may have put a joke on a joke. 

Implicated in this episode: Humphrey B. Bear, Marco Bresciano, Socceroos, Blackheart and Sparrows, Virgin Wines, Gary Ayres and Grant "Full of Beans" Denyer. 

Nick and Dec add a touch of class for the penultimate gig at Bella Union. With a special guest appearance from The Cullen Brothers. Thanks to one of the great comedy singers, Steven Gates, for playing with us and thanks to everyone who came along. 

A few plum keychains were left after the gig. Grab them here. 

 

Declan proves that once and for all the war on drugs was  systematic failure. In fact it should have just been called a war on poor people. 

The Cali Cartel Wikipedia Page

Tickets to the Sweetest Plum Live on October 20  

Donate $5 for a Patented Plum Branded Leather Keychain 

 

Beware black crows. And magpies. And plovers. And whatever the hell bird Declan was talking about. And beware parking anywhere near Geoffrey Edelsten. 

To grab one of the leather Plum keychains donate at this link... 

www.thesweetestplum.com.au/donate/

 

Live from the Basement, Nick and Dec ask themselves, "Why aren't we filming this?"

Individuals implicated this week: Ash Williams, Pat Cash, Warwick Capper, Mark Webber, Karl Stefanovic, and Eddie McGuire.

Individual's implicated this week: Ash Williams, Jane Campion, Mark Taylor, Pat Cash, Billy Thorpe, Ed Sheeran. Proudly bought to you by Loathing Outwards productions. 

Issues discussed: The Ghost Containment Unit, Population Control, AFL, Big Boys, Bernard Tomic, Pat Cash, Henri Leconte, Ricky Nixon

Nick has a very bad cough, but we'll try to put that aside and just do what we do best, like discussing the Hindenburg, Ricky Nixon, and Declan's grandma.

Sit back and enjoy a Bira Moretti, as we discuss Chinese Medicine, Eddie McGuire and Pat Cash for Comments.  

People discussed/defamed this week: Steven Gates, Tripod, Chinese Medicine Practitioners, Pat Cash and Henri Leconte, Warwick Capper, Ian Baker-Finch and Luke Beveridge's Neck. 

Follow us on Facebook: The Sweetest Plum 

Twitter: @sweetestplum 

Website: www.thesweetestplum.com.au

 

 

 

 

 

The 4 week streak comes to an abrupt end, but we move forward. We begin with the basics of human communication, then slow sink down down the passive aggressive plug hole. And we'll trawl through U2 tracks to find the #worstU2Lyric 

Follow on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/The-Sweetest-Plum-121171371257577/

Or twitter: @sweetestplum 

Or if you're feeling generous, donate on our website: https://thesweetestplum.com.au/donate/

 

In sporting parlance, we're on a bona fide streak. Topics discussed: Alex Jesaulenko, Luke Beveridge, the Ovens and Murray League, Ivan Lendl, Bono and U2. 

Topics discussed: Judy Garland, Shane Warne, Nathan Tinkler, Lithuanian Chefs, computer dogs, and the benefits of Chinese Medicine.  

Hang onto your gallbladders.

After another long lay off, we've crawled back into the weird bungalow at the back of Nick's house. Bought to you by our new sponsor, Ghost Track, the future of sports betting.

Our first episode back since The Public Apology. Other possible titles for this episode, "Maxwell's Mistrials", "Fingers in Pies" and "Live from the Mild Hyperbaric Chamber" 

Live from the Rochester Hotel, Nick and Dec beg for forgiveness. And Thanks to everyone who came along (especial those who were there before 4.30pm).

For the first time in a very long time, we've managed to post two episodes in the same week. It probably won't happen ever again, just quietly.

 

To make up for the months we were away, we've organised a gig for listeners called The Public Apology. It's Sunday, October 16, 500pm at the Rochester Hotel, 202 Johnston St, Fitzroy. And it's five bucks on the door. This episode was meant to promote it, but we forgot to mention it for twenty minutes.

Rejected names for this episode: Up in The Crawl Space, The Joy Boy Generation, Clash of the OCDs and Slipknot News. Brought to our brand new sponsor, Uder Eats. 

People implicated in this episode: Michael Jackson, Phil Collins, Prince, Andrew Gaze, John Travolta and the entire cast of Wild Hogs (even though we don't know who they are) and some guy just trying to have a coffee, but he's got his kid there.

Join Nick and Dec for a gentle jog around the botanic gardens. Along the way, we'll run into Mischa Barton, Anthony Kiedis, Christopher Walken and Al Pacino. Just make sure to pack some Zantac and 30 mini-bottles of Cointreau.

People implicated in this week's episode: Steven Seagal, Erika Eleniak, Eddie McGuire, Nick's Dad, Declan's Dad, Curly Sue and Old Men in Swimming Change Rooms. 

If Nick and Declan's negligence in not posting an episode for almost six months has hurt or offended anyone, then we wish to make a full, unreserved apology. And thanks to everyone at Crazy Domains for their ongoing support.

Nick and Dec decide it’s time to relaunch the brand, so they pack it up for prospecting in Sovereign Hill. Absolutely not brought to you in any way by Billy Guyatts.

Slip on some white shorts and strap a go pro to your kneecap.

Here's our live show from last Sunday . Featuring the great operators Steven Gates from Tripod, Damian Cowell from TISM, and Geraldine Quinn. Along with a high-brow theatrical tribute to Gary Ayres and Robert Dipierdomenico.

Just a couple of Peter Pans, proving boys will be boys. And boys love their toys. Featuring Slipknot, Scott Cam and Lang Lang. Proudly bought to you by our new sponsor, Reeking Ron's Hair Hole. 

This week's burning questions... Why is Neil Perry dressed in a lobster suit? How should you react if Grant Denyer cracks out his Con the Fruiterer impersonation? And just how many hours does Terry Wallace spend in his tanning bed? 

Other possible titles for this episode: "Significant Encouragement", "Encouragement Significant", "Set in our ways", and "Gary Ayres Syndrome".  With Special guests Mark Mitchell as Con the Fruiterer and Robert Dipierdomenico as himself.

Other possible titles for this episode: "Luck of The Irish Donuts", "Parker Pens Can't Lose", "Dead Father's Day", "A Misguided Tattoo", and "Holes, Mate". 

Featuring Ed Sheeran, Grant Denyer, and the stars of Robin and the 7 Hoods, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Bing Crosby. 

 

Thankyou all for coming. Please make yourselves at home. And Leave your Waldorf salad over here with the other salads.

Wrap your blood soaked hands in a teatowel and relax with a couple of buckets. Just don't go too hard.

The administrative saga continues and we go deep into the second hour of unfinished correspondence. Join the toboggan ride, as we hurtle through the Black Eyed Peas, Beyonce and Billy Joel, before plunging into the river of dreams.

It's the podcast equivalent of cleaning out your email inbox. Then stopping halfway because you feel a bit nauseous. Featuring John Farnham, Harry Connick Jnr, Carlos Santana, Shaquille O'Neal, Grant Denyer and of course, The Great Man.

Nick envies other's nonchalance, Dec is mixed up about Nick's housing history and some correspondence from Russia exposes Nick's entire way of looking at life.

For as this appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land, so in the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all the horrors of the half known life. God keep thee! Push not off from that isle, thou canst never return.

It's been too long. We apologise for being a couple of shleds.

We don't just build podcasts, we build respect. Proudly bought to you by our new sponsor, "Scratch Down"

Nick may have spent a bit too long listening to classic hits radio. You'll see why.

Dec returns from an overseas jaunt, while Nick is concerned about his jealousy levels. With thanks to our brand new clothing sponsor, The Invisibales. 

The final leg of our national tour. Live from Bella Union Bar at Trades Hall.

Our first live show in Sydney. Thanks to everyone who came.

This is meant to be a plug for our live shows, but the whole thing gets thrown off track when nick receives an ominous text message.

Dec's dental bill is in danger of sending him broke, while Nick's brain is danger of sending him over the edge. And we manage to do the longest, most self-indulgent and confusing plug for our live shows. Proudly bought to you by the hottest new app, "Bye Guys".

Dec and Nick hook themselves up to a very expensive machine with electrodes, then sit back and wait for the television networks to start calling.

Dec contemplates a new catchphrase, while Nick enjoys the benefit of hindsight. The perfect soundtrack for strongarming beers.

We return to Nick's Bunglaow/Granny Flat/Depression Hut/Room with No Plumbing, where Nick hatches a new plan to relaunch our entertainment careers.

Nick and Dec finally manage to meet up in the granny flat behind Nick's new house where there seems to be a few plumbing problems. Proudly bought to you by our brand new sponsor, "Mr Magoo's Paw Paw Ointment"

 

We celebrate our 100th episode. Sit on your jacksy and enjoy.

We toast our 99th episode with a bottle of medium priced Shiraz, but Nick finds that bad song lyrics are shocking him right out of his brain.

Dec learned how to talk to girls at a nightclub from a guy called Ralph, while Nick learned sex education from a word find puzzle. It explains quite a lot.

Nick gets more than he wants from his wine tasting, while Dec struggles to brief someone with lies. And they both learnn that sometimes corporate does equal class.

Nick dreams of spiders. And a spot on a royal commision. Dec just dreams of a computer that doesn't crash. And we play the Sweetest Plum Drinking Game and hope that listeners don't get alcohol poisoning. 

Dec orders one too many matzo balls, while Nick is off on his Op Shop Odyssey. Recorded live in a rarefied air.

Nick is not good at going out for breakfast. Or people yawning at him. Or phone sex. But he does look great in tight black jeans.

Nick and Dec would like to make a full apology for this episode. Please respect their privacy while they spend time with their families on the family property.

A lot of stuff about parenting. Some stuff about Zebras. And Helicopters. And Matthew McConaughey (but without his bongo drums)

"Nuthin' wrong with a bit of cullin'"

It's our first podcast for the year. Now shut up and clap a lot. (This episode comes with a lifetime warranty)

It's our annual live Christmas show from Trades Hall. With special thanks to Gateso.

Nick worries about Music festivals, Dec's mate worries about what happened to Jeff Buckley and listeners give some interesting suggestions for the live Christmas show.

More user generated content from a couple of bloody guns.

Dedicated to Sad Matt

PS - Come see our live Christmas show on December 22, 5PM, Trades Hall. Tickets http://www.bellaunion.com.au/program_guide/show_784

Do your belt up an extra notch... We're going for an arc!

Guys, this is Lindsay Gaze.

Nick and Dec hand out some warm fuzzies and cold pricklies

Nick and Dec first met while writing for Rove, so they tracked Rove down and recorded an episode in his unusually small hotel room. With special thanks to Malik.

The title makes it sound like an old film noir movie, but it's really not.

Background Reading for this episode: The Encyclopedia of Flowers, Matthew Flinders Cat and 100 Mr Men Books.

Why Nick wouldn't survive in prison, why Dec should learn to pay his registration on time and why life never turns out like Days of Thunder.

On our 80th show anniversary, Nick tries a new career, Dec learns a new term and we both experience another traumatic flashback to our previous employer. Proudly bought you by by a very successful and well regarded wholesale butcher.

Nick launches a literary career and Dec launches a tirade of abuse at a parking inspector. Proudly bought to you by the good people at Woolies in Werribee.

How to talk to kids. And how to ask for oral sex. (The two topics are completely unrelated)

Something is rising up through Nick's floor and a fragrant candle may not be enough to fix it.

Recorded live from the Man Cave.

Just pumping him up and mucking around and that sort of stuff.

This week we've been forced to broadcast from an all new locale, although the the exact same things are still winding us up. Proudly bought to you by Maxwell's Marvellous Medicine.

Dec doorstep is piling up with free food, while Nick's heater might be killing him.

Sorry for the delay. This is the last one we recorded before Dec disappeared to have a kid...

Dec is confused by maths, Nick is confused by massage, and some kid Dec went to school with is very confused about Frank Sinatra.

The second live plumcast, recorded at the grand old time of 11pm on a Thursday night, with Dave Quirk, Steven Gates and the wonderful Geraldine Quinn. There is drink involved.

Recorded in the prime time of 11pm last thursday. It faetures Steven Gates on guitar, Lawrence Mooney on left wing rants and Wilbur Wilde on Alto Sax and very long, but highly amusing Oz Rock anecdotes. Apologies for the occasional buzz and crackle in the audio, the old Commodore 64 had black smoke pouring out of it by the end of the night. There's one more live show to come, this Thursday, April 18 at Trades Hall. You can grab tickets on the door.

Our resident musician, Steven Gates, invites us into his home and plies us with alcohol. There's bad impressions, arguments about song lyrics and we all end up disclosing our teenage graffiti tags. And Don Henley is somehow implicated in the whole thing.

There's a brand new plumcast with a special guest coming real soon, but before then, here's a slightly gratuitous piece of self-promotion for our live gigs at Trades Hall for the Melbourne Comedy Festival on April 11 and April 18. Most of it is Nick worrying about whether anyone will turn up, whether it will be any good, or whether he'll just be abused by drunks at the bar. Book tix here..

https://www.bellaunion.com.au/program_guide/show_662/

Nick is fighting with Foxtel, Dec is fighting with some guy carrying too much mineral water and Rod Stewart's audience are just fighting themselves. All proudly bought to you by your local Sportsbar.

After almost a year Ryan Shelton lets us back in his kitchen and we waste alot of time thanking him for doing so. Then we spend way too long talking about Pat Cash. The rest of it is pretty much about Nick's paranoid run-ins with members of the public.

We start off with flat cokes and things sort of go downhill from there.

Proudly bought to you by our newest sponsor, Reeking Ron.

Beards, babies and big boys placing bets. Proudly bought to you by Extendo Hand.

Nick tries boiling all his anxiety down to a single high-pitched noise, while Dec shells out hundreds of dollars for a bucks night. And why it's never a good idea to talk about Johnny Pancakes. Hang in their long enough, you can hear Nick's Big Boy fantasy.

Nick decides this year will be all about the thumb. Dec finds out why all your goods should be sold fully furnished. And we both wonder how the hell to develop a swagger. PS - Sorry this episode is up late, we've thrown in a few extra minutes to make up for it. (Plus it was finished at 2.30am the day Dec came back from holidays and he couldn't be bothered working out which bit to cut out)

It's the last hours of 2012. Nick wants to crack out the mistletoe one last time. And Dec just wants to buy a safe couch, but it's not as easy as you think.

We basically spend 40 minutes telling eachother how good the live show was. And Nick may have accidentally discovered his life's calling.

We did a live show. People turned up. And somehow we didn't completely balls it up. With special guests Stephen Gates and Geraldine Quinn. Special Thanks to ian jackson for mixing and recording the whole thing, and for putting up with our voices burning holes in his ear drums.

It starts with us promoting our live podcast and ends with the audience spattered in blood.

We record the episode in Dec's backyard and the neighbours get an unexpected lesson in big boys and glorses.

Dec gets another bad audition, Nick gets another bad ad, and really you have to wonder, why isn't everyone just kissing? Proudly supported by our new charity partner Sharks with Hearts.

This week there seems to be a lot of people in a lot of denial.

Nick learns to keep his eyes on the prize, but unfortunately the prize always seems to involve alcohol. Plus the usual Big Boy sightings.

Dec learns how to make people like him and Nick learns a new way to play Mario Kart.

Nick learns that Strawberries aren't meant to be black. Dec learns that there's no point attacking the internet. And Nathan Tinkler learns you can lead a horse to the magic millions but you can't make it win.

Nick thinks it's best for everyone if his family just send him off to a home around the age of 45.

We start off tired and then talk for way too long about waterslides.

Find out how the commercial radio industry runs on cab charges, why you should never take your dumbells to a nightclub and which of the four noble truths involves swallowing bottles of red wine. Proudly bought to you by our favourite new radio station, CAB FM.

Dec explains how he survived as a young pie boy,  Nick tells the true stroy behind his wonky eye and gradually they both lose the power to speak. And, Do you have what it takes to complete the Big Boy Challenge? This episode proudly bought to you by the power of Raw Power Protein Powder.

Dec does battle with call centres, while Nick explores a new method of dealing with possums. And Mick Malthouse just wants to keep moving forward.

Domestic coping, big boy straddling and the adventures of Pud and Mud guts. Proudly bought to you by the good people of fresshmeat.com

Nick and Dec get thet their first writing job since being axed off the radio. Things don't start off that well. Plus we find out what happens when a big boy goes out with a big girl.

Travel Anecdotes punctuated with a couple of cock jokes. That's about it really. And the usual big boy correspondence.

Topics discussed: Slipknot, Buckethead, homeboys, strip clubs, nightclubs, drink cards and fancy dress parties. It's all bought to you by Big Boy Fries.

Neck meat, young arsonists and more big boys sightings. And why you should never get your life philosophy from dodgy Indian restaurants.

Nick shows off some of his best pick up lines. Dec gets another audition. And listeners do some more big boy spotting. Plus, Nick shares some helpful hints for putting yoour child to sleep.

Nick reclines back and gives Dec advice on showering, speaking and poker playing. The whole thing makes Declan increasingly uncomfortable.

Nick starts off utterly bereft of hope, but then gets some unexpected news which may change his whole view of the world. And for some reason Dec's dentist thinks he might be disabled. Meanwhile, the show gets a slightly concerning invitation from some listeners.

Nick helps Declan find his inner schlub.

Nick needs someone to tell him what to do. Dec needs a decent audition. They both need a decent slogan to stick on Sweetest Plum T-Shirt. Plus there's a journalist taking notes in the background waiting to stitch them both up.

We got sick of just talking to eachother, so we called up our old friend Ryan Shelton to be on the show. (Also we needed someone with a kitchen because both of ours we being used)

Starts off bathed in autumn sun and ends in total darkness.

Nick peruses Dec's Bookshelf and doesn't like what he finds. Plus we learn the subtle difference between a big boy and a joy boy. And find out what happened in the sad tale of Bumblebee.

It starts off quite nicely and then Nick gets a text message which sends him to a very bad place. There's also some fairly average singing.

The show starts with the worst ever rendition of a David Bowie Song and goes downhill from there. If you make through, there's cool office layouts, fruit warehouse etiquette and why everyone should be driving out of their office with a chocolate cake on the roof. All bought to you by our brand new sponsor menwholooklikewebs.com

There is an absurd amount of discussion about all you can eat restaurants and male sex enhancement medication. That's about it really.

We work through alot of childhood trauma and somehow don't really solve anything.

Dec explains why the trivia industry is on it's knees. Nick explains why you should be back at work right after giving birth. And we share our top tips on surviving your next health inspection. 

The former Prime Minister and star of Rove, Kevin Rudd, calls in to tell us all about his comeback

We find out what C-list celebrities eat for lunch. And we meet the newest rising star of stage and screen, The Swizzler. Plus, we eavesdrop on a press conference from everyone's favourite AFL operations manager, Adrian Anderson.

How to mess up your kids. Why directors should carry a second cowboy hat. And why you should never take your dad to the poker tables. Proudly bought to you by the good people at shinonabathub.com

Nick gets ripped off by his mechanic. Dec learns why romance doesn't belong at the bowling alley. And former NBL Basketball Legend Dean Uthoff opens a cold fish restaurant. All proudly bought to you by the good people at newmoneyjournal.com

Nick waits for a tow truck driver who never comes. Dec keeps him company with some self indulgent childhood anecdotes.

There's alot of discussion about Brian McFadden. Please don't let that put you off.

We broke into the house Dec's girlfriend was housesitting to record this. Please don't tell her.

A bunch of self-indulgent anecdotes to make you feel much better about your own family Chrsitmas. Plus Nick reveals how Shane Warne barbecued his hand and Dec gets his big break auditioning to play a ioaf of bread.

The evolution of airconditioning. Booze Less Be your Best. Brotherly Bonding. Swimming on the Ceiling. Old Man Moments.

Mail Order Brides, Motivational Mantras, Beers with Duncan and something called The Sweetmouth Cupboard

Nick welcomes Dec back into his home. Dec pays tribute to Australian theatre. Nick names his perfect personalised number plate. And together they try to spot the difference between fireworks and lemon chicken.

For some reason this week's show keeps coming back to noses. There's also stuff about Vanilla Ice, Robert Allenby, Marlon Brando and the Australian Cricket Team and some guy called Ralph.

After becoming another dead body on the commercial radio corpse pile, the Sweetest Plum returns to where it all began - Two arseholes yelling into a Mac in their kitchen. They've Learnt Nothing.

Concepts Discussed: Student Theatre, Exploding Seagulls, Pink Party Buses, Coffee Clubs, Traffic Jams, Board Games and Nick's "Worst Character Ever". All text disrupted by N. Maxwell and D. Fay

The wrong way to order a fillet o' fish. The right way to dress like a Prince. The horrible way to traumatise your child like Buster Keaton. Hit The Bricks: Ed Hardy, Andrew Rochford, and Alex Dimitriades. And a drastically misjudged conversation about the film Head On.

Nick admit's he's never written a book. How much milk is in milk? The return of Garfunkle and Garfunkle. And Hit The Bricks - David Jones, Cenovis and Michael Schumacher

Bob Katter speaks out about which way he'll vote.

Brighten your day with barefeet and berets, light up your loungeroom with DJ Style Turntables, and why no home is complete without a postmodern motorcycle. Then if all else fails, shut your kids up with some free shit.

Mark Latham speaks out.

Dermott Brereton drops by to do your missus. Nick launches his new game show "Who's got a massive snoz?" And why you should invest every last cent in e_dogs. The show that comes 42 months interest free, until they find you and break your legs.

Tony Abbott tells us why non doesn't always mean no, but sometimes it does mean no, if you know what he means.

Kevin Rudd calls in from his hospital bed, after gall bladder surgery to fix those nasty leaks.

A conga line of arseholes drop by to commiserate our tenth show in a row - Dennis Lillie, Mark Webber, Art Garfunkle, Mel Gibson, Diego Maradonna's dog, while Kirk Pengilly just fucks everything.

 

The Longing for Two Laptops. The wise words of Dermott Brereton. AFL players tunnel through shit. Nick Shanghais some roundies. Daryl Somers does it for the nation. Hit the bricks - Chat Roulette, The Eagles and Ridley Scott.

Frank Lowry gives everyone a great big Pearl Necklace. Hey Hey it's off to LA. Ian Collins covers up his corpse pile. The Return of Rudd PM.  Hit The Bricks - Sepp Blatter, Russell Crowe, Twilight.

For two years Rudd PM was the all conquering action hero on Rove, now in his darkest hour he gives an exclusive interview to The Sweetest Plum.

 

Subscribe to the sweetest plum on iTunes...

http://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/the-sweetest-plum-podcast/id374949075

 

Or find us on facebook...

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Sweetest-Plum/121171371257577?ref=ts

 

 

 

 

 

Harry Kewell gets a light tug. Sepp Blatter keeps everyone in suspenders. Nicks Mourn's the Death of the Mixed Business. A Tale of Two Hockey Stores. Feel the Power of Force Feeding. Help me Obi Warwick Kenobe, you're my only hope. All Proudly Bought to you by wizzardcapper.com.au

Subscribe on iTunes...

http://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/the-sweetest-plum-podcast/id374949075

Follow on Twitter...

http://twitter.com/sweetestplum

And The Obligatory Facebook Fanpage...

http://www.facebook.com/?sk=messages&tid=1142788347488#!/pages/The-Sweetest-Plum/121171371257577?ref=ts

All proudly brought to you by...

wizardcapper.com.au

Birrarung Marr - your ultimate family friendly experience. Diego Maradona - A Tale of Two Toilets. Ray Hudson - Greatest Ever Commentator. The tears of a clown in the meat packing district.  Nick opens a big bag of boo hoo on his daily diet. Hit the Bricks - FM Radio and Just for Men.

We pay tribute to Dennis Hopper with a five minute long anecdote stolen from Wim Wenders. Nick reviews eight minutes of Hey Hey its Saturday. Why you should always cover your eyes around Maradona. And we find out if all tennis players are sluts.

Nick gives Formula One two tiny thumbs up. We discuss DIY Possum Control - All you need is a half eaten peach and a hessian sack. SBS launches it's new show - Ned Zelic in a spa with some hot sluts. What does the death penalty have to do with hungry seagulls? Hit the Bricks: Traffic reporters and Married Couples.

 

 

Every Rose has it's own line of sneakers. Max Walker's new book: How to Hurt a Homeless Guy. Jeff Thomson refuses to toe the line. Hit the Bricks: Ridley Scott, Russell Crowe, Tony Abbot and Nick Brack's neck. Harry Kewell's head. The Tyranny of Two Dad's.

Father can you spare some pink nail polish? The garden salad of good and evil. Win a dream date with Pim Verbeek. Classic Cock Ups: Cats in the Cradle. Boo Hoo: The Horror of Health Reform. Bunnings: Low Self Esteem is Just the Beginning. Hit the Bricks: Melbourne City Council/Ticketmaster.

We send best wishes to Lil Wayne. Mike Skinner looks better on Youtube. The Joy of Sax. Passive Aggressive Lovemaking. Lowest prices are just the beginning... of your nervous breakdown. Put my hot dog in your hot thing.  Recumbent bicycles.